Ten Years Gone

If you followed my other blog years ago, you know that a big part of my adult life has been discussion about our stillbirth baby Grace. Monday was her 10th birthday. I was 25 weeks along. She would have been perfect. She's missing every day.

We move on and heal and time just washes over those memories and the days, but once in a while, the waves come again and we have to take a few minutes to just... remember, to feel. I've said before how in loss of this kind, the pain of the memories is kind of all you have to hold on to. So I give myself a chance to feel, to be sad about it. For a long time, writing anything about it was hard. But on Monday when the internet died, I wrote a couple of poems as I thought about that terrible day ten years ago. I didn't have any idea what life was going to look like ten years later. At that time, it sort of felt like life had stopped and would never go on.

But it does go on, and we live full, rich lives. Without her here. Thankfully, we have hope of heaven and we wait for those explanations that will become clearer and clearer in eternity.

Ten Years Gone 

You and me were built for eternity

And for a moment you grew within me

Ten years ago you were here and then gone

Leaving a scar that tears itself open time after time

Ten years of wanting, and prayers of why

As the family without you laughs and grows

                There are reasons we believe that God knows

Ten years of wondering what it would have been like

If you’d lived with us in this life.

And we planted our promises in the fertile earth

                And asked the Lord to show us Himself through your birth

Ten years of wishing you were here,

Of faith growing in spite of our fears.

Believing in heaven and best things untold

In the secret ways of God and the mysteries that will unfold

When the veil of dark glass is removed

And our tears are all wiped dry

And we see you, and Him together, on the streets of gold.

Copyright 2018