My 35th Year

This was a long year. And like most years it had ups and downs. This year, both were pretty extreme. I've been wanting to sit and write about it all for a while. I did write a Christmas newsletter, which I deleted. Twice. because I just can't find a good way to articulate the best and worst without sounding depressed and/or too sunshiny. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

We moved into our new house at the end of December last year. We spent a few weeks unpacking and settling in, then we were off to the hospital to have our 5th (and final) baby. (The 2nd baby we had didn't make it, but it doesn't feel fair not to count her). We didn't know the gender, but for the first time, my gut feeling was SO right. Another girl. We named her Stacy because it means resurrection, and we were, in faith, planning on a year of God restoring and rebuilding our lives. Thankfully, that was what a lot of the year looked like.

The first restoration was in the form of surgery for the 2nd born, who needed another skin graft to compensate for growth and scarring on her burns. Stacy was 3 weeks old and we took a 9-day stay at the university hospital. That was quite the challenge. It was a dark time for me. The second time around, three weeks later, was just as difficult, but at least I wasn't still in the painful recovery stage from my c-section. It was hard to go through all of that hospital stuff again, but at least this time we had a better idea of what to expect and how to ask for help.  For the record, I think we actually received meals from the church for a solid six weeks. I still think about all of those meals. I could never repay. I think about the day we got home from the hospital the first time, and I had this month-old baby and a 7-year-old who needed to be kept inactive and took pretty constant care. I just didn't think I could do it, and I called up my friend Melissa and she didn't even hesitate. She just said she'd be there, and she packed up her three kids and came out with groceries. That's just one story out of hundreds. Hundreds.

Another quick one. When we went to take the kids to church camp this summer, the director told us that someone had paid for their camp, knowing we were probably a little financially strapped. What a blessing. What a needed break for us! We just need community so much, and we have a really great one with our church.

We got our final occupancy for the house in July, which was a huge relief to husband, who'd been working really hard to finish all of the last things the county wanted done.

In August, we were privileged to be able to attend family burn camp, a weekend for families of burn survivors. It was really refreshing for us, after such a hard year, to be with other families who understood the challenges we'd been through. We were the newbies in the group. most of the other families had been living with their traumas for more than five years. You can bond pretty quickly with people at camp, especially when you have a chance to talk about the things you can't really explain to others. It was refreshing, and so encouraging to see other kids who had been living with their burns and thriving. JJ just came alive there.

In September, we hosted an open house for the people who had helped us build our lives and home during that terrible 2015. It was such a delight for us to see so many faces and be able to personally thank them with food. We prayed together to dedicate the house, and that was really neat.

Then, we got to have a really fantastic vacation in Florida with the husband's parents. They're taking each of their kids' families on one last vacation and our turn was up. We went to shows, hung out at the beach, swam in our guest house's pool, and went to Disney. It was the kids' first time on a plane, and my first time swimming in the ocean. 

After that vacation, we hit our stride with school and regular life. Things are settling in with the kids in choir at church, piano lessons, and homeschooling. We're part of a co-op that uses the classical format for education, so the older girls are memorizing history, science and language together, which has simplified our schooling a lot. I'm so thankful for the chance to be in this co-op and all that we're gaining from it.

I'm looking back on the year and still blown away by all that happened. It was packed full. I'm turning 35 this month, and I think that this year has perhaps been the most fruitful of all of them, as hard as it has been. I'm learning how to let go, how to find God in the hardest places, and how to turst Him with my little treasures. I'm seeing how many ways I try to build my own kingdom instead of His, and I'm surrendering more and more to Him.